The goal of the victims are to scare the neighbours off their property from knocking/ringing at their doors. You put up the psychological show so to make up your environments and yourselves look bigger and meaner for some, and smaller and friendly for others. The kids do still come at your doors taxing your livelihoods, while their parents shy away at a distance. Bitter they sent their kids and not themselves; they’d have asked for your cakes, cars, couches, ovens, computers, radios, and TVs. Finally you give up. So every year you think of destroying pumpkins by carving them into mocking grins and lay them on your porches as so to say; “Fuck us,” who aren’t getting these.
Stranger; “What did you dream about last night.”
Me; “I got off the bus when suddenly a man follows me armed with a bloody knife on a slippery night so I threw my bag at him and started head-butting like nobody’s business.”
When you try to ask questions so to make conversation—because, I am not a boring person—and they look at you with suspicion as though to say; “Foreign, why are you asking me questions.”
So apparently, I’m still attending class in my fucking dreams. The teacher says; “When the heart stops it acts like a super brain, it makes many calculations as the brain makes one calculation, and then another one—but this one, it forgets about it—it was only relevant just so to make a third calculation. And that’s how the human brain comprehends information by grouping with formulations,” And the students go cheering nuts, blown away by the teacher. I thought; “Ew, look at them.” Wait. I thought that was only an introduction.
I went into the kitchen, opened a new jar, stuck my tongue out, and dipped it inside. It was yummy. I closed the lid and put it in my fridge.
Sometimes I forget to remind myself not to forget before going outside that I’m not welcome. It just helps with everything you know; like in how I’m not welcome. It feels better now isn’t. Smile.
When watching TV shows in Hebrew and they’re making a joke out of us for that matter why not watch the white people counterpart instead. We all got it, your disappointment, now grow up and move on.